Bullshiiiiit!

He's so full of crap... i cant believe him.... i called him after he mess... was tht wrong? he tells me not to call... so i ws like ok thn... bye... now he wont reply... but he will talk on the phone with morni all... WTF? its not like he has to pay for it... so so anoying! nvr gonna speak to him again! mark my words! grrrrrr
so malas today.... its 1231... i have to go to the bank and all... but damn lazy wei... actually... can go makan buritto! k..k..
bye bye! la vicz... here i come!

crap crap crap

there i go again.. skipped class for the first time this sem... yay to 9/11... AAS... i just didnt have the mood to go no where... i walked out...

class break... bus 21... gonna smoke for a bit... brb!!

k... so while the lecturers reads jokes about the NFL, and year 2029... i shall try to not lauh n type... not working...brb... did i mention tht my lecturer is one of those ppl who writes capitals.. bleh... shit!! didnt pause my crossword! argh!

class habis d... brb...

k... this blog is being written in the span of 2 hours... n its less thn 1/2 a page! hahaha...

today morning.. i woke up crying...n sweating... seriously... n i had no idea why... i remember san francisco.... n sri... going to his house in san francisco apparently... n i cried... alot.... so much so tht i had tears all over my pillow whn i woke up... kaw kaw rite!? i was reading the dream interpretation... it said tht crying:
signifies a release of negative emotions that is more likely caused by some waking situation rather than the events of the dream itself. Your dream is a way to regain some emotional balance and a way to safely let out your fears and frustrations. In our daily lives, we tend to ignore, deny, or repress our feelings. But in our dream state, our defense mechanisms are no longer on guard and thus allow for the release of such emotions.

oh well... i didnt actually think i was tht sad tht i had to cry about it... no..not her... i probably am a little sad about not having friends like i had back home... and thn again... i nvr did... have a lot... frens i mean... so... i think this is just some sort of pms... mood swings.... i think tilia kinda realises tht i'm going very silent these past few days... i feel bad... i just don feel like mixing around... especially with love in the air.... not my scene....
k...bio lab to finish... bio notes to read... the table lamp is too bright.... signs i should remove my contact lenses.... u knoe whts funny? nvr mind... ppl do read these things.... i'll save myself from any conflicts.... anyways...............
i was looking at the theater major thinggy... i don wanna major in tht... but wht if i take a class or two... wouldnt hurt next sem.... hmmmm we'll see... according my plan... i will only graduate in may 09 even whn i take 6 courses a sem... so if i take some classes at de anza... like all those failed classes.... i should be ok... i think... n if my gpa goes up high enough... i can take 7 classes instead of 6... tht way i can walk in dec 08... thts really fast... i think! argh!!! wasted too much time! listening to some farny ass song form the 60's... damn gay rite... which reminds me... why bengay....can't thy find some other name? seriously?... anyways... i've been thinking alot about smoking... it probably is the reason i feel low.... so... if i quit... will tht help? maybe not smoke during the day... only nights... hmmmm.... though... k..i know i need one in the morning... so.. thts one.... thn... after food...no! maybe if i had one afer every meal only.... n after tht only at nights with beer... hows tht? tht way i can make sure i have breakfast... how about btw breaks in class? this way i need a tonne of gum and chips or food to eat during break... grrrr....suckyness... k... i give my self one week... lets see how far i can go... nights after 10 doesnt matter.... during the day.... one in the morning with breakfast.... afternoon with lunch... ad evening.... before class... coz class all finish 9 ni...so... screw dinner... sounds good? i think so... i can save money also! well thn! hts works tht... now... must go try to see wht to do for WST... bleh!!

buh bye!

99 ways to kiss

You opened this because it
said...

99 Ways 2 Kiss!!
but would you have opened it if it said
"I love God no matter what?"
repost this in 7 mins. as "99 Ways 2
Kiss!!!"
If You Truly Love GOD.
A miracle Will Happen Tonight.

P.S. Don't ignore
God is always watching

SeeeeXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXy!

Roses are red
Lemons are sour
Open ur legs and give me an hour

Kissing Is A Habit
Fuuckking Is A Game
Guys Get All The Pleasure
Girls Get All The Pain
10 Minutes Of Pleasure
9 Months Of Pain
3 Days In The Hospital
A Baby Without A Name
The Father Is A Bast4rd
The Mother Is A Wh0re
This Woulda Never Happend If The Rubber
Hadn't Tore!!

Sex is like math
You subtract the clothes
Add the bed
Divide the legs
And Pray to god
You dont multiply

Roses are red
Grass is green
Open your legs
And I'll fill you with cream

Sex is good
Sex is fine
Doggy Style & 69
Just for fun
Or gettin paid
Everyone likes gettin laid


roses are nice
violets are fine.
ill be the six
if you be the nine.

sexxx is evil
sexxxx is a sin
sins are forgiven
so stick it in

found it!!! my butterfly!!!

Created this like a year ago.... finally found the file... thought i lost it forever... writting takes up too much energy... whn i wrote it... it didnt have tht much meaning... it was just saying it VERY expressively... now...hmmm... its pretty much the same thing!

The sun shines thru the skies

Coloring the wings of the butterflies

The love and joy it brings

Flutters deep within our heart

Love is like a butterfly
you think you've caught it
But then it flies

The butterfly whisks away

Leaving our love to fade away

I look up as a tear rolls slowly down my cheek
thinking about the happier times
and wonder if I'll ever feel that way again
you look at me with those eyes I know so well

Those eyes in which I saw myself

Now I wonder

Was seeing me through your eyes
better than an eternity alone

The love and joy I used to know
the laughs we shared
the love we made

I thought our love was true.

But now I see it wasn't

Love is like a butterfly
you think you've caught it
But then it flies

The butterfly whisks away

Leaving our love to fade away

Someday you'll cry for me,

Like I cried for you.

Someday you'll need me,

The way I needed you.

Someday you'll miss me,

Like I missed you.

Someday you'll love me,

And I’ll be there to love you

I don’t want to say its over
I don’t want to leave you

But somehow I wish I didn’t have to

Love is like a butterfly
you think you've caught it
But then it flies

The butterfly whisks away

Leaving our love to fade away

You look at me
with a confusion I have never seen
slowly pull me towards you
and wipe the tears from my cheek

Saying…If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies.

OUCH!

ok... so...he jumped onto the bed... n things went smoothly..."IN"...
i thought he would leave it at that...never even thinking of dating... just a fuckin hookup!
rite? wrong!!! it was more thn tht... so it seems... he came back the next day...n after tht... n after... its weird! n now... to even think tht i wont be able to see him even once after i leave... hurts like a bitch! fuckin HURTS! why? i mean... f'real... we both knew it was coming! i guess he has more important things on his mind... i mean... he is the one leaving for hella days... i on the other hand...(giving myself reasons to get butt hurt!).... will be returning to this campus... n walk on the same path we both did... n think about all those shit... n cry... y? coz... he isnt an asshole... i've always managed to meet assholes... but this one isnt... he didnt deny tht we did hookup... which is effin weird for a guy... but he's just being nice... GOD..... it even hurts to say tht! why the FUCK m i so sprung!?!?!?!? this isnt ryte! i changed... i gave up on feelings... i promised myself tht i wont allow my retarded feelings to get stabbed again.... n here i stand... taking chances... letting go... believing in crap like love!... i agree this isnt love... its just... a safe zone... attention seeking n giving... but why does it feel like there can be more if only time would turn around... i have another four days to learn how to love n forget this one person... IMPOSSIBLE!
my action plan is... to not be emotional about the situation... at least not in front of him... when a day passes by with him not calling or texting..... i become obsessed!!! u know wht... come to think of it... i have a super magical power... i can turn the smallest desire to become the world's greatest obsession!!!! i look at his text messages more often thn not... i stare at his number wishing he would call... but ego is good... especially now!
its perfect... anything to keep my fingers from touching the phone!
aghhh...
if this was only about sex.... it would have been easier thn ABC...
but no.... we had to have good communication skills!

a note to GOD....u are going to be haring a lot of whining whn i get up there.... u wait!!!!

`````~~~~~~DREAMIN~~~~~~`````````

hmmmmmmm...(with dreamy eyes n a huge smile across my face!)
Temptation was inviting, but no words needed to be said,
So, nervously I sat down again, on the edge of the warm, familiar bed.
Oh, I knew well all the pleasures from so many times before,
Temptation had seduced me and I trembled while I sighed.
As, at last, I slowly gave in, I knew it was being shallow
To succumb to the wonderful pleasures...
Touching me softly,
With his beautiful lips
Touching me gently,
his hands on my hips,
Touching me,
Like an ocean's wave you hold on to me,
Crashing against the gray stone rocks -
So fierce intense each step by step.
The ocean in the flicker of an eye.
Leading from high down to the beach,
So narrow steep naive and dark,
And yet so pure like the fine sands,
Which our feet, together, have still to touch.
Hold closer, closer, capture it all -
Seashell treasures keep memories;
Waves of the night lost in the sea.
Deep true endless romances of the waters,
Are cherished lovingly on shore.
Graceful perfection, sea breeze air
Silent kisses, stars keep smiles.
Beneath the play shelter,
Hidden from all, nerves swim, adrenalin
So gentle intense like the deep mystery.
he takes my body on a journey that never ends,
It always seems to just begin,
Like the ocean so wide and powerful with its waves rolling in and crashing against
The rocks
With the same force as my admiration towards the man I want to get to know
I want to know and feel his strength, and feel the power of his touch, crashing against
My soul
I want to feel his passions his desires and the dreams he has
Like the waters that go on
Forever and ever
I want to feel his tender touch caressing every inch of my body like the kiss of the sun over the ocean horizon,
Faithfully each morning
I want him to know that with each and ever word spoken is like a ripple that spreads throughout the deepest waters in My heart
For the day is coming closer and the nights are getting longer in the desire
To be near you
I dream of that moment when the waters of the ocean and the rocks of the cliffs finally meet
In a storm of passion,
His every touch will be like a soft caress to the rocks of the cliffs below
With each encounter will be like the waters stirring under the ocean so deep
With each kiss will be like a storm building furiously down beneath the earth
And deep down beneath my soul
And when the time comes for him to take my heart my soul and my body and make love to me
It will be like a wild storm out of control
With each touch, caress, and kiss he bestows upon me, will be like
Giant waves
Crashing vigorously with so much power and so much strength against the rocks,
Just like nature intended it to be
And just like I want him to completely take me
Then like the calm after the storm
I want to lie in his arms and hear
The pounding of his heart
Like the ocean waves
Calming and soothing
To my
Soul