OUCH!

ok... so...he jumped onto the bed... n things went smoothly..."IN"...
i thought he would leave it at that...never even thinking of dating... just a fuckin hookup!
rite? wrong!!! it was more thn tht... so it seems... he came back the next day...n after tht... n after... its weird! n now... to even think tht i wont be able to see him even once after i leave... hurts like a bitch! fuckin HURTS! why? i mean... f'real... we both knew it was coming! i guess he has more important things on his mind... i mean... he is the one leaving for hella days... i on the other hand...(giving myself reasons to get butt hurt!).... will be returning to this campus... n walk on the same path we both did... n think about all those shit... n cry... y? coz... he isnt an asshole... i've always managed to meet assholes... but this one isnt... he didnt deny tht we did hookup... which is effin weird for a guy... but he's just being nice... GOD..... it even hurts to say tht! why the FUCK m i so sprung!?!?!?!? this isnt ryte! i changed... i gave up on feelings... i promised myself tht i wont allow my retarded feelings to get stabbed again.... n here i stand... taking chances... letting go... believing in crap like love!... i agree this isnt love... its just... a safe zone... attention seeking n giving... but why does it feel like there can be more if only time would turn around... i have another four days to learn how to love n forget this one person... IMPOSSIBLE!
my action plan is... to not be emotional about the situation... at least not in front of him... when a day passes by with him not calling or texting..... i become obsessed!!! u know wht... come to think of it... i have a super magical power... i can turn the smallest desire to become the world's greatest obsession!!!! i look at his text messages more often thn not... i stare at his number wishing he would call... but ego is good... especially now!
its perfect... anything to keep my fingers from touching the phone!
aghhh...
if this was only about sex.... it would have been easier thn ABC...
but no.... we had to have good communication skills!

a note to GOD....u are going to be haring a lot of whining whn i get up there.... u wait!!!!